did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize