i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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