I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
