Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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