I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize