we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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