I don't usually arrange sex via text message
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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