my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
