Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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