I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
