afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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