Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
