My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
