I can tuck mytits in my pants
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
