dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize