I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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