oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
