i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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