Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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