I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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