It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
