Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize