Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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