Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
