i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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