When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
