If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is wine microwaveable?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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