Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
