This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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