How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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