Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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