dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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