The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
