Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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