it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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