whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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