i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
