We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
