another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
