butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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