I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
