That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
