he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
