i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
