my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
