Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.