it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
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My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions