Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...