Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together