Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why does Jon Cryer have a career?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  That is a good question.

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  (860): Why does Jon Cryer have a career? (1-860): That is a good question. http://tfl.nu/v28q
  Replies (14) Good night (1162) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks

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  (413): At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks http://tfl.nu/fbkp
  Replies (15) Good night (762) Bad night (2636) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?

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  (585): just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/qttt
  Replies (56) Good night (1122) Bad night (4090) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?

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  (970): do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom? http://tfl.nu/19xa
  Replies (55) Good night (970) Bad night (16968) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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  (608): I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs. http://tfl.nu/6w3y
  Replies (31) Good night (6287) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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  (603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje
  Replies (9) Good night (3621) Bad night (1284)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.

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  (715): I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to. http://tfl.nu/bxlt
  Replies (8) Good night (814) Bad night (3728) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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  (360): I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too http://tfl.nu/ui5h
  Replies (6) Good night (3185) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll

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  (608): just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll http://tfl.nu/nron
  Replies (10) Good night (1149) Bad night (2935) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.

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  (423): I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger. http://tfl.nu/nz2t
  Replies (10) Good night (2875) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  I want a grilled cheese and an IV

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  (518): I want a grilled cheese and an IV http://tfl.nu/ksb1
  Replies (5) Good night (2236) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.

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  (479): Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops. http://tfl.nu/gg9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.

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  (540): You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you. http://tfl.nu/4u5p
  Replies (6) Good night (1776) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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  (908): I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years. http://tfl.nu/293u
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day

  (408): View more from California

  Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry

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  (707): I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day (408): Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry http://tfl.nu/3wks
  Replies (5) Good night (762) Bad night (220)

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