y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My ass is underappreciated
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
