ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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