once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
