the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
