who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
