I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
