only if we run a train.
done.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
