I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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