Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
