good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Damn victory sex feels great
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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