The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sober January is a disaster.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
