from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
